"Whatever happens,

Ok 10mins. I will just give myself 10mins to pen down my thoughts and get back to work.

I am currently drinking coffee and it has sugar, so i believe the caffeine and sugar rush are making me happy i.e. i start to reflect and be thankful about everything in my life. I even sent an email to the NTU shuttle bus department to thank them for the initiative. But omg, its true, how much money and time have I saved with the shuttle bus over the past 3/4 years? And of cuz getting to school happily without having to squeeze with the working crowd in the MRT. You do not know how unhappy it is not to get a seat all the way from Pasir Ris to Pioneer and how much it affects the rest of the day until you've been through it. So yes, they deserve some appreciation for the work they've been doing.

Anyway, thats not the main point.

Yesterday was my last day of school as a student! Like. Finally. I was very excited to get it over and done with and I sincerely hope I pass my exams HAHAHA bizval is a piece of shit. At times, I regret the things that I wasnt able to do in university. I mean, I feel that this is the best time to do something different or do something you've always wanted to do because there are so many opportunities!!! Sports, volunteering, jambands, drama productions, case competitions, leadership roles, networking. You name it, they have it. Unfortunately, I only realised it towards the end of my university life. So, note to fellow kiddos: Treasure your time in university and the opportunities provided, DO NOT let anyone hold you back. (ok, but i mean, you weigh yourself whether its worth it or not.)

So regret? Maybe a little bit?
Restart? Probably not.

I think of all the friends I've made and the people I've met and I am very thankful. These are people who supported me when school was such a bore, and shared bibles w me, and people whom I'd definitely keep in contact with after graduation.

In my final year, Iwhen almost everyone else graduated, and i was a sad lonely Y4 (THANK GOD for fellow batchmates who decided to take LOA for a semester and join me in my Y4.1 HAHA), I was encouraged by new friends to push myself. And so I did. And that's how I became more aggressive/hardworking in looking for a job. Something that I like, and not just following the common route of an accountancy student. The inertia is really strong when you already have a job waiting for you. So im extremely thankful I listened to the voice in my heart screaming at me and did something about it.

Also believing that I could do more with the 24hours in a day, I've started tutoring. I've also signed up for yoga, so thats yoga and pilates in a week. I've been reading the news and keeping myself up-to-date with the world. I've been learning vba and i want to learn adobe lighthouse. I've also been reading up on shares and investments, and I plan to do something to my current stagnant etf after my exams. The year has been fulfilling (;

I've also met people who have causes far greater than themselves and they are extremely inspiring! I wish I have a cause that I believe in strongly so that I could have done something in the past 4 years of my university life. I'm sure I'd find one someday tho.

So yes, that took more than 10mins.
But all in all, really thankful for university. And really thankful for the people who pushed me out of my comfort zone and not be comfortable with status quo. There are regrets certainly, but I can live with those. At the end of the day, I think I've gained far greater things (;

Luck has brought me this far?
What am i even good at.

I wish i could restart these years.

Some days i get so annoyed and frustrated with life in general, i'll look at him next to me and have an urge to scream and shout and strangle even tho he did nothing at all to incur my wrath.
Then he'll look over smiling, unknowing of my evil thoughts, and pat me on my head and ask me if im tired and want to take a nap.

The bad day becomes a good one instantly.

Some days I wake up full of insecurities.

What do you do when a chapter ends?

Not too sure why I've got so much thoughts today. I feel a need to pen them down so that I can sleep in peace. Tonight, at least.

Sooo, exchange is coming to an end. Time really flies. I still remember crying when I sent Bryan off to Taiwan and when my parents left for their holiday too. For someone who would get homesick even when I'm on my way to school, the thought of not being able to see them for 4 months was quite daunting.

Surprisingly, I'm doing pretty well here. I'm not the most independent person but I think my housemates have really helped alot in adjusting to the life here (scrimping & saving together haha). And I think I'm really growing fond of Korea. Recently, I've been having the heart-sinking feeling whenever I think about leaving in about 3 weeks time and i feel extremely sad. Like extremelyyyy. It's difficult to express the sadness I feel. It hits me at the weirdest timings and many times daily. And then I also kinda feel guilty for not really missing home, and feeling sad about having to go home? But I also am kinda happy to see the people I miss back at home.
It's weird. All in all, it had been a week of really really mixed emotions.

Gilly asked me if i've met my goals in coming for exchange about a month back in Jeju. I think I replied a Yes, i think so, without much conviction, because honestly, I did not set any goals for exchange. I just thought it'd be an awesome once in a lifetime experience that I didnt want to miss. So after our trip to Jeju, i took some time to reflect on what I really wanted to achieve specifically at the end of exchange.

And I'm quite thankful to say that I can now say yes with certainty. I guess my main goal for coming abroad for a semester was really to meet new people, not just hi-bye friends but friends that I can keep and meet in future and continue to keep in contact. I think back about the times that I've stepped out of my comfort zone to make connections with new people even though I was a little afraid (A cup of coffee always helps. Or beer). It had been such an enriching experience! I've traveled around and I really love the places we've been to - I wish we had more time to explore and visit many other provinces. However, I think the greatest takeaway I have from exchange would be the friendships I've made and relationships that I was able to deepen. The memories I've made with everyone here are ones that I will always always always look back on and be happy about. I'll also miss the freedom I have here to venture out of my comfort zone, or have drinks till late at night just talking about life because life.just.slows.down.

Right. Maybe I'm just rly dreading the fact that the pace of life's gonna speed up once i go back home. The time will come i guess. Got to embrace it. For now, I'll continue to make the most out of my remaining time here and meet everybody i wanna meet (and ignore my liver for awhile).

Thoroughly enjoying my freedom and stepping out of my comfort zones.
Living young and wild and free.
U.n.r.e.s.t.r.a.i.n.e.d.

I feel me. I feel the person I haven't seen in years and i'm very very very happy.
I hope I'll always remember this feeling and take it with me wherever i go.

"I think i need to learn to see the good that people see in me"

Very very afraid.

Tired of always giving and not receiving

Lessons learnt
1. I create my own happiness.
2. Time waits for no man.